Life is a Rollercoaster?
So the last 24 hours have been somewhat of a roller-coaster.
The ones that start really well, anticipation building up when you slowly but definitely get to the top of the first steep plunge of the ride. Yes, well after the plunge, your senses go on overdrive and while screaming “OMFCG Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” and then reverting to “OMG GET ME OUT OF HERE” and then finally settling “THAT WAS AWESOME, I can’t feel my legs”. Well, I think feeling has come back to my legs by now. Thanks, shall we proceed? Yes? Jolly Good!
In Deed.
I have always felt that we are born for a reason, for a purpose. In Buddhism, they say that we are born human because we have carried out some good deeds in our past, good karma if you will. I believe that to some extent. I like to think that we have at least done some good somewhere. It makes me feel warm inside.
Getting to my point, what I’m trying to say is that, as good as a motive karma is, we shouldn’t be given an incentive to carry out a good deed. In fact, it should be done because of the goodness of your heart. Whether its saving an animal from harm, helping out wherever you can, giving a free meal, or just being there for a person when in need, those should be done without any malice or incentive. Like DeeCee mentioned in her post, of how TukTuk drivers would help the blind lady cross the street, we need more of that. We really do.
I think we lack that in general, wanting to do good for others. Some may argue that society doesn’t deserve it, as in general they may be selfish. But, there are those few that do, and we should really take that into consideration, that just because a few are of the bunch are rotten, doesn’t make the entire batch a bad one.
I try my level best to do something everyday, something I can live with. Of course I’m not perfect. I try to be nice to everyone I meet, sometimes I get the bad end of the deal. I shrug it off, but I do get upset in the process. Yet I try.
Maybe we all should at least do one good deed everyday. Just one little thing. Whether it’s giving change to a beggar on the street, helping a woman cross the street, or even giving a friend a shoulder, an ear or a hug, do something. It might not be much, but hey it’s something. Do something, the world is literally going to the dogs. Not the puppy sort, the rabid ones geared to tear you to pieces.
Not Broken…
You know how free, safe, warm, and right you feel when the storm is over and the sea is calm again. I feel that way now. Because now, it doesn’t hurt anymore.
I know that because, when I listen to beautiful songs I couldn’t bear to listen to before I don’t feel my cheeks wet with salty tears, I don’t feel my heart breaking into millions pieces, my love wasted on a soul who didn’t give a damn and wasted my emotions, my feelings, my love for nothing.
Freaky Friday- 2012 & Eclipses
So, I went to watch 2012, again last Friday. I paid more attention than last, and oh boy did I pay attention. Also, I discovered that the first time around, we had missed out at least 5-10 minutes of the movie. Savoy had the longest queue that day. Sad really. We sat in the middle section, first row too. And did we giggle. PseudoRandom and I did for sure *winks at PR*.
Apart from the world coming to an end, and signs that said “Repent, the end is nigh” – which I do believe. I strongly believe that 2012 is a possibility. Will we have super cool arks which are supported by not-so-sturdy locks, well I don’t think so. Will we all die because we can’t afford the €1,000,000,000 ticket prices? I don’t think so, but if it comes to that let’s hope that temporary inflation occurs and we would indeed be able to afford it. I know, I’m making a mockery out of our monetary system, I think we should, it’s mockful!
Life goes on…
I had a chat with Bestie’s little sister. She and I were always great friends. Sweet kid, I always had a soft spot for the little darling. I was able to talk to her last year when many didn’t understand why I liked the man I was head over heels in love with. I don’t know why anymore myself.
She understood why I needed to be friends with him, even after he moved on to another. She told me that people with ADD sometimes moved on quicker than usual, and were at times quite tough relationship wise.
But I was stubborn, I wanted to help him, even if it meant I was helping him be with “her“.I still remember him telling me “but Pav, I love her“. I wanted to fight for him, fight for us, and fight for what he wanted, which was “her“. In a way I’m still fighting, but with the memories of last year. But that’s in the past now, I’m looking towards the present. Moving on.
The little girl I knew has grown up, and I’m so proud of her. Going through a similar relationship wall, much like I did, she’s acted so maturely and I have never been more proud of her. Mourning her love, she put aside her emotions and went on with life. She literally got up, brushed herself off, and decided to go through life head held high. She’s truly a beautiful person, and whoever is deserving enough to be in her life, will truly be one lucky fella. And I’m truly lucky to have a friend like you.
You’re a good kid and I love you!
By biszkopciik
Invasions, Colours, Work & Thresholds
INVADERS. IN MY ROOM. I HAVE BEEN EXILED FROM MY ROOM. DAMN INVADERS! Taking away my window frames, and now my ROOM. My Empire is lost. To SAW DUST! But, behold the secret plans for the rebellion – here! *insert evil laugh*.
I’ve been relocated to the Green Room. Green, Apple Green for that matter. So simple, so pastel, so close to the gate and the road. I was fine at the back-end of the house. All I could hear were the dogs and the cats barking and meowing. More cats than dogs, and these cats, they fought like cats and dogs. You’d think being from the same species they’d have some sort of civility, but oh no, they gotta bring the house down. Well my roof anyway, in the middle of the night, or morning (that’s when I fall asleep). All I hear now is the gate opening. Mind you, that gate creaks, no shrieks when opened. It’s so LOUD. But it gives me a viewpoint of the lane, but I can’t be bothered getting up from my bed to become a busy body. I’m fine watching my TV show marathons. But seriously, some people do sleep you know, when they eventually fall into La La Land. But, I miss my Purple Room. It’s darkness, its shelter. I miss my pillow fortress. I miss my bed too. Poor bed, it hasn’t had my warmth. I wonder how it’s doing, saw dust and all. * wipes away tear* I’ll be back soon Purples.
So, it’s Friday. Wait, no it’s not! It’s Thursday. I wish it was Friday though. I don’t know why though. Maybe then I could say “Thank God It’s Friday”, like all you employed folks, but I wouldn’t have any incentive to say it because, I am indeed unemployed. Yep, at home, dirt poor, while cob webs are being spun by darn spiders (Sorry Maks - I don’t mean you,I absolutely adore you) in my bank account.
BUT, never-mind that. By next week I’ll be up and running. If anyone has seen the video of me literally bouncing off the walls of my university, then you’ll know how hyperactive I can get. At such times, padded rooms are a definite plus, too bad I’m still mentally sound enough to actually be bouncing off brick walls.
Aaaaah employment. I’ve never been a person who could stay still. Though unemployment came to me by a forced decision (due to my illness) and since the 8 doctors who’ve tried helping me can’t really help me, I’ve decided to go back to being a vegetarian, in hope that the stomach will appreciate all the sacrifices I’ve made. But I’m not giving up my coffee addiction, no sir. =) I need it, I cannot be me with out it. It brings out the essence of yours truly, whatever that may be.
However, sadly I think I might be developing a resistance to coffee, at least it’s effects. I guess I should move up to Black Coffee from just Milk Coffee. Cause you see, with all the medication I’ve taken, I think I’ve developed a threshold for substance abuse. Medications are some form of drug substance, thus I’m calling it that. Oh well, when that happens, I’m just going to turn it up a notch. *Cue the evil laughter, Coughs*
I feel rather disconnected from everything. Maybe it’s the effects of re-entering vegetarianism again, but who cares yeah? Catchya later folks. Happy Thai Pongal!
Random Conversations…
I recalled a chat I had with a friend I refer to as Indie. So, Indie was telling me that she was going nuts. And the following ensued.
Me: Don’t drive yourself insane. I need my Indieness. Come for a hug. =)
Indie: Your “Indieness” is still here.
Me: I be very happy. =D
Indie: You’re adorable!
Me: Come let’s be happy. Lets hold hands and go skipping down a hill. Pick daisies…
Indie: Ooh love daisies!
Me: Make very girly daisy garlands and head thingies, and be all prettied…
Indie: I would like a looooooooooong summer dress to go with the whole thing.
Me: … and make friends with the pixies and the fairies and then they’ll let us into the secret Sisterhood of the Magical Forest. And then, we can be all-knowing magical creatures. I want purple wings and purply highlights in my hair. What do you want Indie? Everyone gets wings and highlights. It’s Free Wings and Highlights Day!
Indie: I don’t know what I want though.
Me: Well, you can go all Indie chick. Indie fairies Rock!
Indie: I bet they do.
Me: They do, they do. A little fairy bug told me. Oh we get fairy bugs too! Fairy bugs are like doggies. I want a cocky spannielly bug. I shall name him Cookie =)
Indie: You are on a roll today aren’t you?
Me: Yep. Come =)
Indie: I guess its good. Than to seethe in anger. Is it Seeth or Seethe? I’m losing my language.
Me: Seethe? I can’t think straight. I seethe?
Indie : I soothe? You are soothing.
Me: Soothe? I am? *Scratches head*
Indie: Oh god, it’s losing it meaning.
Me: Nooooo! Soothing come back. Sooothing noooo….!!! *runs after Soothing* Where’s my butterfly net? It comes handy in such times like this *Jumps up*.
Indie: You’re crazy Pavi!
Me: *jumps up again* Gotchya! *hands soothing back to Indie* =) We be friends yes?
Indie: Yes we are! =)
-
By ForestGirl
Reminiscing…
I have had one of those days you know, where you tend to look out into horizon and see a crow flying right at you, and all you can do is freeze there, cross-eyed as it comes straight at you and BAM, you’re left with a beak imprint, like a stamp saying “you’ve been Crow’d b*tch“, you know, like in “Punk’d”.
It started from last night, when I had a long chat with my cousin before heading out to bed, OR maybe even from the night before when I had a rather long chat with my pseudo-brother.
Dreaming of life…
I have often been marred by nightmares. Actually, more often than I please. They would haunt me every night. Even an afternoon nap would turn dark and the best part is that I remember them in great detail, and let me tell you they were dark. But not anymore.
Since of late, I cannot wait to fall asleep and dream, because when I close my eyes, the only thing I think of is you, and when dreams come, I see you. Tall, broad, like a pillar you’d stand and I’d be awed. Conversations feel so real, I sometimes puzzle myself, I truly do. Because, when I wake, it’s as if I never left reality, because everything seemed so real. Everything down to the way you would stand in front of me, and say “Hi“. And I would adore you for it.
So much has changed. December was truly a turnaround. The passing of 2009 went up with the fireworks my Dad lit up (like a little kid, he loves his fireworks), while Mother and I were looking into the open hearth and the pot of milk that wouldn’t boil fast enough. I like playing with fire. I know I shouldn’t, then again no-one ever said I’m normal. The milk did boil, and it spilled North bound. Apparently, that’s a good omen. I don’t know, I never did pay attention to old wives’ tales.
I’ve gone back to the person I know I am. And the best part is that, my positive thinking is back, as well as my love for cooking, especially Italian (I made pasta today, with homemade tomato puree). Also, I’m going back to being a vegetarian. I guess this year, I’m going to love myself more, because by doing so, I’ll appreciate life. Let’s face it, Life IS awesome.
I’m off to gorge on more Pasta and home-made tomato puree…
