Amongst the Thorns, She Fights!

Posts tagged “Life

Laptops & Power Outages

I own a Compaq 610 (dubbed Podi Maya) and I have had it for about less than 2 years. It’s been reliable so far, since the demise of my earlier laptop, Panik, I have solely relied on it to be my source of EVERYTHING. BUT, as of late, I have found out that the battery has gone kaput. Well, I realised that the battery had gone kaput about 6-9 months ago, because when I remove the cable, it only would stay ‘alive’ for 30 minutes and it would die. Before this started happening, it stayed on for 3 hours, which made me quite happy. It’s a good laptop, and for the price that I got it for, it was a deal ($750).

My only issue is that, due to the battery issues, the laptop is no more a laptop and is quite plugged in (to the matrix? Sorry I had to put that there). A new battery would cost a good 20k(LKR). When the power cable went bust and a new one cost me 16k (LKR). What I was wondering, was whether this is a model issue or just a HP issue (cos I had the same thing with my earlier HP laptop). Also had the cable to the earlier HP Laptop go bust, and then the battery. Or is it that the fluctuations in Electricity available in Sri Lanka is so unstable, due to the unforeseen power outages that it makes my electrical appliances go bust. I do have a trip switch which goes off at times like those, but are there sneaky attempts that go unseen? Also, the fact that I use so many multi plugs and extendable power cords to reach my desk, could that be it? I don’t know. I need a working laptop and I don’t want electricity playing havoc on my babies 😦

All I know is that all my work goes bust when the lights go off and sometimes I get the Autosaves and sometimes I don’t. I just got in trouble because I had sent the wrong copy of a document I had corrected but it hadn’t saved when the power went bust, and I thinking it was the right one, cos I ‘thought; I saved it, sent it right away. Darn.

Yeah, I think I should either scrounge up the cash for a new battery or even a new laptop. (Sad)

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Bed Time Ponders

What is life but what seems to be an endless story that falls over itself in cascades and into tiers, and as a tier approaches, you age. You eat, you sleep and you dream in between the nights and days, from dusk to dawn. But do most of us really put thought into our lives, or do we merely ‘go with the flow’? Do we continue like robots, being programmed on a machine line or back in a secret lab no one is supposed to know about. If we’re the latter, well we must know that we are important and different, and if we are different how are we different. William Shakespeare said “We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life, Is rounded with a sleep”.  What I think he means is that we have our bubbles and we are safe in them and rarely move out of our comfort zones.

Do we live our lives like its meant to be your last, or do we just procrastinate and expect to wake up the next day and with new opportunities sprouting like ripe tomatoes growing in your back yard, filled with vegetation (if you didn’t procrastinate to water them, or lest make sure the sprinklers came on time – having programmed that too). What I meant to say is, do we go about like we’re living a dream and that we’ll live forever, or as one of my favourite quotes by James Dean goes, do you “dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today”. Because to me, the latter is what gives me the strength. I dream, and I live. Passionately. I’m happy when I’m happy, I’m angry when I’m angry. It may seem a little black and white when I put it like that, but to me, that’s me feeling, and when I am overcome by this drive that powers me, I can’t feel anything else but that pure adrenaline that keeps me going. Do I at times deter and deflect, when ailment and misfortunes come my way, I do. I am only human, and I have to let nourishment and time mend the bridges of whatever I am referring to and move on with life. The same life that I said I live passionately. I don’t take my life for granted. I don’t take opportunities given to me for granted, I take everything that comes my way with a skip. But that doesn’t mean I trip. Life dishes out the good and the bad, and the bad never comes knocking. And doing a balancing act is quite tough too, when you are trying to live your life to the fullest, because you also need to prioritise to manage your time.

Then, there’s love, and there’s friendship. When it comes to love, there are so many highs and with emotions and passion there will be puddles and there will be bumps on the road. But life comes with a ying and a yang, with love is the opposite with evil and the ugly side of life, just staring you down, making you quiver in a corner. It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s important to also stand up once you recover from it and find your bearing. Aldous Huxley said “Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you” so when life beats you down, just get back up and move on. And friendship comes in many sizes and shapes, and forms. It could be genuine and it would false, be aware of who your real friends are. If you are a nice person, don’t let the false friend turn you over to the dark side, come out the winner and don’t let them have their laugh.  People will talk, people will judge, people will never attempt to see more that what they want to see, because they are limited, they are restricted, they are afraid to sometimes see that you may have something that they do not have, that they couldn’t possibly have and they might have insecurities of their own and that’s where they start pointing fingers and saying things about you which you do not deserve and they know you do not deserve. You have something they want and do not have, and in today’s age it’s easier to criticise and not praise when one finds themselves in such predicaments. It’s a sad affair, but sometimes nothing can be done.

If you come across such situations, its easier to shrug it off and be the bigger person. Sure it’s hurtful, but life was never supposed to be easy. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. You can be aware of these things, but don’t let it take over your life. “Don’t worry, be happy” may be the biggest cliché in the book, but there’s truth in those words. The Dalai Lama said that the purpose of life is to be happy, and I agree. Shrug those worries off, and if you can’t, write them off, quite literally. Pour out your feelings into pen and paper, or on a Word processor and be done with them. I just did, and I feel better already.


Fine Wine

Soft supple like a new babe’s bottom
the contours of your waist feels to my touch.
No sharp angle, no jutting sword
that springs out at you while you duel and jaunt
Round and shapely like a graceful pear
the curves of your hips call out to me in sight.
No box of secret, just a woman’s tale that wish-washes
when she walks seducing my eyes and the coils of my soul.
Strong and mighty like am amazon princesses,
the swift moves of your legs mesmerise the inner sanctum of my mind
No stilts of wood, just flesh and glory
that makes a manhood jolt as heels add to the magnificence of these two combined.
A marvel of the true world, a figure of 8,
the epitome of an hourglass slinking through time
to capture a life worth living, knowing and savouring
like expensive wine of a distinguished time.

Celebrating women…


One of those days

There are days that all I want to do is work, work, and work some more, because frankly, all I really want to do is be busy, and stay busy and not really deal with the woes of my mind, my heart (well maybe not my heart, because it’s a party and then some with my Thar), and surroundings. The surrounding woes my mind, and that brings me down, like a house of cards. Today wasn’t such a day, and my mind is constantly being weighed down by all the thoughts that run through my head, where I have come to point I can’t speak. I simply cannot put a sentence together, because the voices in my head (I have 7 and they have names – Pav (the dominant personality), Portia, Piper, Page, Penelope, Prudence and Phoebe) are always speaking to each other, either ranting, conversing or simply consoling (which seem to be occurring more and more as of late).  Anyways, whatever it is, it has affected me to the point where I zip and go on lock-down, and if I am in company, all I can do is listen (pretend or try extremely hard to listen (because let’s face it, when you’re listening to 7 voices in your head, do you really thing and 8th or even 9th voice coming through my ear drums will get past? I didn’t think so!)). I spaced out a few times during social gatherings and this is normally with my Thar’s friends because it normally happens in the nights. At most of the time, I really do try to listen but like I said, as of late, something has taken over me and I just can’t seem to figure out why it’s affecting my vocal cords, my thinking processes and why when I do open my mouth to say something, a)my speech dyslexia makes a comeback b)my pronunciation ends up being butchered and c) my vocabulary has gone on hiatus. It’s not pretty and I don’t enjoy it, because I am at times a perfectionist (and stubborn to boot) and when things don’t go my way or something hasn’t been done in the proper way, I sometimes get royally annoyed (even if it is with myself – yes, I am too hard on myself, but do people ever learn unless they are hard on themselves?).

 

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Story of my Life

I came across this when I was tumblring and found it on Teddy‘s tumblr.

This is me, and it gets awkward and sad sometimes. Hug back please. Cos, everyone wants to be hugged despite the awkwardness, like the Free Hug in Sondrio, Italy.


Recapping…

Hello World.

How’s it been? Long time, no see. Sadly, it is my fault, and well I apologise, profusely. Once training is over along with my exams, I shall surface on a more regular routine, and maybe even complete the 20 something drafts just lying around. Yes, more for that I say.

Now let’s see, what’s been happening?

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So, Piper makes an entrance…

Social Networks, continue to give me minor heart attacks. Like whenever they want to throw it out there at times when I’m not ready to take it in, or deal with it just yet. Same difference though, yeah?

Of course, this is because I’m one insecure girl, who’s also very good at keeping her emotions at bay (23 years of hard training – not easy this stuff, and I’m still learning to be numb)… but sometimes, like the gaps between my cupped hands, the sand falls through my fingers and those are what causes my little heart attacks. Damned cracks.

People who really know me, know the little girl inside of me, not the boy though. It should be noted that I’ve always aspired to be a boy when I grow up, how that’s ever going to come about, is the million dollar question.I’m quite attached to my female bits you see. Whilst I’ll just have to deal with the little boy inside of me, the little girl never knew that she’s this insecure, but is a masochist enough or maybe just understanding enough to swallow the lump in her throat and take the world by it’s horns. Then again, I’m insecure when it comes to things that matter to me, and I never (try to) take it for granted. Oh well, by it’s horns it is. These bulls are quite something eh? Strong beasts.

Ah, but it’s so hard you know, especially when you have a horned dwarfed minion whispering little enticing nothings into your head, filling your head up with nonsense.  I shall try not to be insane. I shall try to keep Piper (YES, I named the horned dwarfed minion) at bay, Keeping PIPER at bay. NO PIPER DON’T COME OUTTTTTTTTTTTTT! *fights with Piper*!!!!$%$&IU&I*PO*^&EW*E(*O*(*&#$^!!!! *sees hands and legs stick out of dust ball forming, out comes a bloody and roughed-up Pav* I thinks I won.

So it’s pouring cats and dogs, and I’m here writing a post, without the internet cos Mother pulled out the router cable. And I’m trying (trying being the operative word) to finish up my project which was supposed to have been typed out 2 days ago. So meh, I miss my coffee, a world without caffeine sucks balls =/

*grudgingly returns to the report*


Bring on the Happyness <3

I think I can safely say that I’m so bloomingly over the moon right now, that a blooming flower blooming over a full moon high on substance couldn’t possibly express the glee I’m feeling right about now. Yes, I know that it didn’t make sense, but Meh, sue me, I’m happy (please don’t, thank you very much)!

You are the reason for this happiness, and I would happily blame you for this punch-drunk grin on my face. The word “blame”  even sounds so bad to me, and I don’t want it to be bad bad or sad sad, all I wanna be is Bamm Bamm happy.

Yes, I’m happy. Over the moon happy, and I really don’t wanna jinx it, but in the meantime nothing is really keeping me from screaming on top of my lungs on top of the tallest thing residing in the building (gets ready to climb the roof). So yes, I am happy *knocks on wood* I think we’ve established that fact already!

The last week, has been the happiest.  I think I’ve lived a rather sad life if I said it was the happiest ever, so I won’t do my happy moments any injustice, and I’d go along and say that they’ve been the happiest I’ve been in a very very long time. And I’m not complaining. Bring on the happiness I say, and heck let’s spread it. It’s on the house!

Also, up until now, my life changing milestones had a direct correlation with my hair. I think my hair received a very bad deal last time, I mean cutting it off that short, after growing it for so long and at the length it reached (it was a first for me people -the length), and cutting it to signify a change and then when that change actually not sticking was after-all a bad idea. Since then I realised that I love my hair a bit more than I thought I did. So, for no regrets and for a change, I did something significant, I took pictures. One picture is the one I’ve attached below. I love photography, it’s close to my heart and with every picture I’ve taken, I’ve had no regrets so far, so in that light, here’s my lily.

To new beginnings, to happiness, to the Loony Bin 🙂 Cheers. ❤


<3

I find myself smiling for no reason, in the most hilarious circumstances. Everytime I reach for the phone, I’m hoping it’s you, and when it is, it’s so evident to the people around me that there’s a difference in me. The girl I work with gives me this look, but doesn’t say anything. I find myself blaring music, jumping on the bed dancing, and I can happily blame you for all of it.  I find myself smiling even when I’m doing the most dullest of chores, whether it’s making tea or ironing my clothes, I’m humming a little song and there’s a tiny bounce in my every step. Yep, definitely and happily blaming you for it all…

Every call, every text, every word, every <3, you melt my heart. The cynic in me, I have no idea what happened to her. I’m completely floored by you, and there’s not one minute I don’t think about you…

I’m finding it hard to tell you in person, and maybe it’s too soon to say… or maybe I’m a wee bit scared…But I hope you know what this means…

“The day we met was like a hit and run”…

…”we’re spinning on a roller coaster ride”


Life is a Rollercoaster?

So the last 24 hours have been somewhat of a roller-coaster.

The ones that start really well, anticipation building up when you slowly but definitely get to the top of the first steep plunge of the ride. Yes, well after the plunge, your senses go on overdrive and while screaming “OMFCG Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” and then reverting to “OMG GET ME OUT OF HERE” and then finally settling “THAT WAS AWESOME, I can’t feel my legs”. Well, I think feeling has come back to my legs by now. Thanks, shall we proceed? Yes? Jolly Good!

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