Standing, along a blue wall, that’s speckled with water bubbles patiently fighting to burst out through the plaster beneath the cool shade, there we stand face to face, looking through each other as we were mere ethereal personas, standing still against time. And I stand there looking at the wonder of those brown bright orbs that mirrors your emotion and mine combined yet each with a story to tell but one that will not be spoken yet transcended through vibes and aura so strong that it sets my hair on end. Holding me close, noses touching one another, we stare right through the galaxies of our corneas. Eye lash grazing, sending tingles down my being, shocking the caverns and their beasts who are now awakened and fumbling towards the light. Your lips tremble as mine does with yearning, its a longing that beats against my heart as loud as a beating drum heard down in tribes far away.
And we meet, like waves crashing against one another, mighty and strong, overflowing as our lips make contact over and over, in unison to the rhythm of the current that sweeps through an open door, as your hot tongue greets mine like an old friend, shaking hands and saying “how do you do, I’ve been expecting you for quite some time and I’m sure glad that you have arrived“. Maybe not friends, but lovers brought from friendship and understanding so strong, that it governs the mighty waves of thought into tsunamis that can break down those very walls I had constructed brick by brick against possible and probably hurt and hate with cynicism as twisted as a tangled braid. But you tore those down, like the Berlin Wall and you made a change, you changed my world.
The lines of my hand met yours as if they knew because fate had etched them on our palms a long time ago and now you and I, we’ve been found. Every graze, every touch sends tingles to every corner of my being, awakening them and as your kisses sends warmth searing through to my heart, I feel jolts of heat pass through you into me and explode into a beauteous array of fireworks only my inner being can pay witness to, and you, yes you are the reason why every inch feels as if its in a caffeine induced coma, one that makes you spring to life against the misery which lies solid, un-moving in a corner. You are the reason, for my being, for constantly moving forward through the blizzard. You are my strength, my heart and soul, you are the spirit that runs through my veins, giving me life. And I, I love you, with every heartstring calling out your name.
I dedicated and gifted this piece of writing to Thar for his birthday, and I have been waiting for the right time to post this online, and I think it’s time. Happy 17 Months, YOU ARE THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE.
Looking up what to do you see on a clear midnight blue sky? Where the yellow moon blazes against the darkness; whilst it shines on you stare on, your eyes glazing over without blinking not even for a moment?
Do you see the millions of stars, that sparkle like gold, glitter, and blink at you like beautiful bright eyes, and as you take it all in? Do you see yourself lost in this endless dark pool that envelopes you from within?
As you breathe, do you feel it on the back of your spine the thought of who might be looking up above with you yet a million miles away sharing the same thought as you did?
Who in a million, billion, and trillion miles could it be? Who could capture the same thought, the same memory and make it theirs, yours, ours and wonder what you might be wondering, feeling what you are now feeling?
Then in a fleeting glance, a blink of an eye, that thought is gone but only to be replaced by another so powerful. One with that yearning to meet this other person, who may or might not be your twin in thought and mind.
Someone who is lonely or someone who loves a full moon night, one without the clouds to hide its beauteous sight. Someone who is clearly different from the rest, one that will stop and admire what doesn’t tickle the rest.
With hope in your heart, and love fleeing in your eyes, hoping you’ll find someone to share the woe in your heart. Hoping to make something beautiful shine with all its might, like the orb above.
Her broken heart with yours, to make one that is new, one that is whole, one that will change the world and make it glow, incandescently, like the moon that stares you at you now, above like a guardian wishing you well.
Dedicate to T, you’re that rare yellow orb against my midnight sky, and in you I find, home.
… and you know, I like you too, a lot. I think it’s cute that Ammi is giving me relationship advice and telling me what I shouldn’t do. This bonding thing is quite something, and I have you to thank for it. ❤
And from the insane conversations we have, to the random “Hi” and the sweetest things you do, I am floored, more each day than the last and I can’t help smiling like a Cheshire cat, cos baby, order or no order, I have no control over it.
I’ve been smiling more, living more and my heart has a beat that I thought had died last year. You are an awesome, awesome person, many kinds of wunderbar in one. ❤
The last week has been a rollercoaster. I’ve been looking behind me more than I have ever done before.
I feel paranoid, like all the time, but I think I haven’t felt this lighthearted in a while, and if I may, sixteen.
But today, was something out of a bad nightmare. Then again home is for me at least. It’s like I don’t belong. I know where I belong and that’s with my grandparents. I miss them, and I don’t visit as often, because they live 2 hours away. But with all the shit that’s been happening around me, visiting them today, and seeing their smiling faces cheered me up instantly.
Over 80, wrinkled and soft, they are probably the only two people in the world who love me unconditionally, and I them.
You know how free, safe, warm, and right you feel when the storm is over and the sea is calm again. I feel that way now. Because now, it doesn’t hurt anymore.
I know that because, when I listen to beautiful songs I couldn’t bear to listen to before I don’t feel my cheeks wet with salty tears, I don’t feel my heart breaking into millions pieces, my love wasted on a soul who didn’t give a damn and wasted my emotions, my feelings, my love for nothing.
She was there to hold my hand, to laugh with me when times were such and cry with me when my heart broke. She was there when I retched day in and day out, sick to my stomach, unable to make it through. She was there when my heart shattered into a million pieces, when the man I loved left me for another. She was there in an instant, like lighting, to make sure that I was safe and loved. Her heart broke when I made the wrong decision, and yet she prayed that I would find the way. She knew better than not to question me when I was stubborn, she knew me well enough to know the angel within. She knew me, she knows me and she always will.
She has been around since the day I was born, and only absent when I left her, for another land. She’s always been around, throughout my life, and that’s all I’ll ever really ask for, in her. We’ve had our disagreements, but always made up soon after.And that’s what makes this the best relationship to date. To be bonded, to be linked, and most importantly to be loved. By another so like you, yet unlike you, and in the end to know that you have someone who cares for you as deeply as you do her.
I love you for who you are, and what you are to me, for being my sister.
I love you, Ruks.
Here’s to a new year, a new leaf, a new life.