Amongst the Thorns, She Fights!

Posts tagged “verbal-diarrhea

One of those days

There are days that all I want to do is work, work, and work some more, because frankly, all I really want to do is be busy, and stay busy and not really deal with the woes of my mind, my heart (well maybe not my heart, because it’s a party and then some with my Thar), and surroundings. The surrounding woes my mind, and that brings me down, like a house of cards. Today wasn’t such a day, and my mind is constantly being weighed down by all the thoughts that run through my head, where I have come to point I can’t speak. I simply cannot put a sentence together, because the voices in my head (I have 7 and they have names – Pav (the dominant personality), Portia, Piper, Page, Penelope, Prudence and Phoebe) are always speaking to each other, either ranting, conversing or simply consoling (which seem to be occurring more and more as of late).  Anyways, whatever it is, it has affected me to the point where I zip and go on lock-down, and if I am in company, all I can do is listen (pretend or try extremely hard to listen (because let’s face it, when you’re listening to 7 voices in your head, do you really thing and 8th or even 9th voice coming through my ear drums will get past? I didn’t think so!)). I spaced out a few times during social gatherings and this is normally with my Thar’s friends because it normally happens in the nights. At most of the time, I really do try to listen but like I said, as of late, something has taken over me and I just can’t seem to figure out why it’s affecting my vocal cords, my thinking processes and why when I do open my mouth to say something, a)my speech dyslexia makes a comeback b)my pronunciation ends up being butchered and c) my vocabulary has gone on hiatus. It’s not pretty and I don’t enjoy it, because I am at times a perfectionist (and stubborn to boot) and when things don’t go my way or something hasn’t been done in the proper way, I sometimes get royally annoyed (even if it is with myself – yes, I am too hard on myself, but do people ever learn unless they are hard on themselves?).

 

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Bring on the Happyness <3

I think I can safely say that I’m so bloomingly over the moon right now, that a blooming flower blooming over a full moon high on substance couldn’t possibly express the glee I’m feeling right about now. Yes, I know that it didn’t make sense, but Meh, sue me, I’m happy (please don’t, thank you very much)!

You are the reason for this happiness, and I would happily blame you for this punch-drunk grin on my face. The word “blame”  even sounds so bad to me, and I don’t want it to be bad bad or sad sad, all I wanna be is Bamm Bamm happy.

Yes, I’m happy. Over the moon happy, and I really don’t wanna jinx it, but in the meantime nothing is really keeping me from screaming on top of my lungs on top of the tallest thing residing in the building (gets ready to climb the roof). So yes, I am happy *knocks on wood* I think we’ve established that fact already!

The last week, has been the happiest.  I think I’ve lived a rather sad life if I said it was the happiest ever, so I won’t do my happy moments any injustice, and I’d go along and say that they’ve been the happiest I’ve been in a very very long time. And I’m not complaining. Bring on the happiness I say, and heck let’s spread it. It’s on the house!

Also, up until now, my life changing milestones had a direct correlation with my hair. I think my hair received a very bad deal last time, I mean cutting it off that short, after growing it for so long and at the length it reached (it was a first for me people -the length), and cutting it to signify a change and then when that change actually not sticking was after-all a bad idea. Since then I realised that I love my hair a bit more than I thought I did. So, for no regrets and for a change, I did something significant, I took pictures. One picture is the one I’ve attached below. I love photography, it’s close to my heart and with every picture I’ve taken, I’ve had no regrets so far, so in that light, here’s my lily.

To new beginnings, to happiness, to the Loony Bin 🙂 Cheers. ❤