Amongst the Thorns, She Fights!

Posts tagged “personality

One of those days

There are days that all I want to do is work, work, and work some more, because frankly, all I really want to do is be busy, and stay busy and not really deal with the woes of my mind, my heart (well maybe not my heart, because it’s a party and then some with my Thar), and surroundings. The surrounding woes my mind, and that brings me down, like a house of cards. Today wasn’t such a day, and my mind is constantly being weighed down by all the thoughts that run through my head, where I have come to point I can’t speak. I simply cannot put a sentence together, because the voices in my head (I have 7 and they have names – Pav (the dominant personality), Portia, Piper, Page, Penelope, Prudence and Phoebe) are always speaking to each other, either ranting, conversing or simply consoling (which seem to be occurring more and more as of late).¬† Anyways, whatever it is, it has affected me to the point where I zip and go on lock-down, and if I am in company, all I can do is listen (pretend or try extremely hard to listen (because let’s face it, when you’re listening to 7 voices in your head, do you really thing and 8th or even 9th voice coming through my ear drums will get past? I didn’t think so!)). I spaced out a few times during social gatherings and this is normally with my Thar’s friends because it normally happens in the nights. At most of the time, I really do try to listen but like I said, as of late, something has taken over me and I just can’t seem to figure out why it’s affecting my vocal cords, my thinking processes and why when I do open my mouth to say something, a)my speech dyslexia makes a comeback b)my pronunciation ends up being butchered and c) my vocabulary has gone on hiatus. It’s not pretty and I don’t enjoy it, because I am at times a perfectionist (and stubborn to boot) and when things don’t go my way or something hasn’t been done in the proper way, I sometimes get royally annoyed (even if it is with myself – yes, I am too hard on myself, but do people ever learn unless they are hard on themselves?).

 

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So, Piper makes an entrance…

Social Networks, continue to give me minor heart attacks. Like whenever they want to throw it out there at times when I’m not ready to take it in, or deal with it just yet. Same difference though, yeah?

Of course, this is because I’m one insecure girl, who’s also very good at keeping her emotions at bay (23 years of hard training – not easy this stuff, and I’m still learning to be numb)… but sometimes, like the gaps between my cupped hands, the sand falls through my fingers and those are what causes my little heart attacks. Damned cracks.

People who really know me, know the little girl inside of me, not the boy though. It should be noted that I’ve always aspired to be a boy when I grow up, how that’s ever going to come about, is the million dollar question.I’m quite attached to my female bits you see. Whilst I’ll just have to deal with the little boy inside of me, the little girl never knew that she’s this insecure, but is a masochist enough or maybe just understanding enough to swallow the lump in her throat and take the world by it’s horns. Then again, I’m insecure when it comes to things that matter to me, and I never (try to) take it for granted. Oh well, by it’s horns it is. These bulls are quite something eh? Strong beasts.

Ah, but it’s so hard you know, especially when you have a horned dwarfed minion whispering little enticing nothings into your head, filling your head up with nonsense.¬† I shall try not to be insane. I shall try to keep Piper (YES, I named the horned dwarfed minion) at bay, Keeping PIPER at bay. NO PIPER DON’T COME OUTTTTTTTTTTTTT! *fights with Piper*!!!!$%$&IU&I*PO*^&EW*E(*O*(*&#$^!!!! *sees hands and legs stick out of dust ball forming, out comes a bloody and roughed-up Pav* I thinks I won.

So it’s pouring cats and dogs, and I’m here writing a post, without the internet cos Mother pulled out the router cable. And I’m trying (trying being the operative word) to finish up my project which was supposed to have been typed out 2 days ago. So meh, I miss my coffee, a world without caffeine sucks balls =/

*grudgingly returns to the report*


End of Us

To sit here, past the journey we have come, and to have watched it pass by, I wonder would our bond ever have lasted, forever or evermore if our personalities had not taken sides? But as time proceeds stronger we grow day in and day out, to become beings of desire and absolution bidding adieu to that of hunger and desolation.

With due regard of everything that has been, we have parted and parted we shall seem. For whatever our past held in part, tomorrow won’t see its light, the door has closed, the sheen has died.

I wish you luck, with memoirs of what we once were, may you prosper  and may you achieve your plights. With honour shall we walk away heads held high. You and I were what we were but now never to be again, the end of us has come, the reaper waits by our sides.


Today’s Quote – Hate

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

Andre Gide (1869 – 1951)

By caught-cartooning

By caught-cartooning

Nuff said!


Today’s Quote – Love

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”


Carl Jung (1875 – 1961)

By darkbutterfly6

By darkbutterfly6


Today’s Quote – Life

A quote to live by…

“You can vitally influence your life from within by auto-suggestion. The first thing each morning, and the last thing each night, suggest to yourself specific ideas that you wish to embody in your character and personality. Address such suggestions to yourself, silently or aloud, until they are deeply impressed upon your mind.”

Grenville Kleiser

By Mystik-Rider

By Mystik-Rider