Invasions, Colours, Work & Thresholds
INVADERS. IN MY ROOM. I HAVE BEEN EXILED FROM MY ROOM. DAMN INVADERS! Taking away my window frames, and now my ROOM. My Empire is lost. To SAW DUST! But, behold the secret plans for the rebellion – here! *insert evil laugh*.
I’ve been relocated to the Green Room. Green, Apple Green for that matter. So simple, so pastel, so close to the gate and the road. I was fine at the back-end of the house. All I could hear were the dogs and the cats barking and meowing. More cats than dogs, and these cats, they fought like cats and dogs. You’d think being from the same species they’d have some sort of civility, but oh no, they gotta bring the house down. Well my roof anyway, in the middle of the night, or morning (that’s when I fall asleep). All I hear now is the gate opening. Mind you, that gate creaks, no shrieks when opened. It’s so LOUD. But it gives me a viewpoint of the lane, but I can’t be bothered getting up from my bed to become a busy body. I’m fine watching my TV show marathons. But seriously, some people do sleep you know, when they eventually fall into La La Land. But, I miss my Purple Room. It’s darkness, its shelter. I miss my pillow fortress. I miss my bed too. Poor bed, it hasn’t had my warmth. I wonder how it’s doing, saw dust and all. * wipes away tear* I’ll be back soon Purples.
So, it’s Friday. Wait, no it’s not! It’s Thursday. I wish it was Friday though. I don’t know why though. Maybe then I could say “Thank God It’s Friday”, like all you employed folks, but I wouldn’t have any incentive to say it because, I am indeed unemployed. Yep, at home, dirt poor, while cob webs are being spun by darn spiders (Sorry Maks – I don’t mean you,I absolutely adore you) in my bank account.
BUT, never-mind that. By next week I’ll be up and running. If anyone has seen the video of me literally bouncing off the walls of my university, then you’ll know how hyperactive I can get. At such times, padded rooms are a definite plus, too bad I’m still mentally sound enough to actually be bouncing off brick walls.
Aaaaah employment. I’ve never been a person who could stay still. Though unemployment came to me by a forced decision (due to my illness) and since the 8 doctors who’ve tried helping me can’t really help me, I’ve decided to go back to being a vegetarian, in hope that the stomach will appreciate all the sacrifices I’ve made. But I’m not giving up my coffee addiction, no sir. =) I need it, I cannot be me with out it. It brings out the essence of yours truly, whatever that may be.
However, sadly I think I might be developing a resistance to coffee, at least it’s effects. I guess I should move up to Black Coffee from just Milk Coffee. Cause you see, with all the medication I’ve taken, I think I’ve developed a threshold for substance abuse. Medications are some form of drug substance, thus I’m calling it that. Oh well, when that happens, I’m just going to turn it up a notch. *Cue the evil laughter, Coughs*
I feel rather disconnected from everything. Maybe it’s the effects of re-entering vegetarianism again, but who cares yeah? Catchya later folks. Happy Thai Pongal!
Coffee. I love you.
I lie awake, minutes after midnight, pondering on thoughts that are really not meant to be thought about at this time of the night. The reason being that my body has not only begun its process of shutting itself down by the second, but also because that the lack of sleep would cause me to think erratically bringing me more hurt than good. But this is a common thing in my life.
As a dedicated insomniac, this pattern of sleep doesn’t bring me any comfort or peace of mind, on the contrary. I lie awake till the next day and the one after that, or if I’m really lucky, I would sleep out of exhaustion or self annihilation. The sleeping out of exhaustion normally happens after a couple of days of thorough insomniaty. I’m pretty sure I made that word up. “Insomniaty”. I define it to be the state of insomnia. Self-annihilation is something I don’t want to feel, ever! It’s when I go “Kaboom”.
Anyways, as I ponder on these thoughts of insomnia, I always see a direct connection to the days and nights, where I have waited for merciful sleep and not gotten any. No, not “getting any” in that way, I meant in the form of getting any sleep. I would directly correlate this to my coffee addiction. Normally coffee would keep me chirpy and up. But as of late, I haven’t drunk much coffee, which really sucks in my life, because coffee really makes me happy, along with making me smell like coffee beans. It’s a good smell, trust me. I like smelling of coffee, because not only is this world infested with coffee addicts, but also it reminds me of the happiness my coffee brings. When my coffee isn’t there, my happiness dies away. This is sad, still, because I haven’t gotten any of that too. I’m not getting any in any way. I’m unlucky like that. Anyways, my life has been kinda shitty in the last month or so. This correlates to the time I went off my coffee bean addiction.
So, let’s count backwards. I haven’t been happy. Nor have I had any coffee. But also I haven’t had any good night sleep (come coffee or not) nor have I been chirpy. But, if I had coffee I would have been chirpy, and I would have eventually gotten some sleep out of exhaustion, and I would have still been happy, in some form. But since I haven’t, I am not so happy.
This defines doom really. See, being a Happy Insomniac is better than being a Sad Insomniac. So, I concur, even if you are a coffee addict who suffers from Insomnia, Coffee is your friend, let it love you. Shunning it out of your life because Caffeine is a bad man doesn’t do you any good. Sure, your mother warned you about guys like Mr. Caffeine Man. But really, when did your mother have a say in your love life anyway? So, love all around, when the Caffeine Man is in town.
So, Drink Coffee! It will get your mind focused, your work done, expand your nights into many a hour, keep you running like you’ve got jet fuelled pumped into you, but most importantly, you’ll be chirpier than a chipper bird on crack. 🙂 Enjoy your coffee people. It’s here to stay. And, it tastes divine. Amen.
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The Black Rose of Anarchy 