Dedicated to my Phoenix. An attempt at penning my emotions. I wrote this for you a long time ago, I’m sorry I didn’t give it to you sooner.
In my time of sorrow and need, when the world seemed against me and I against it, you showered me with words I needed to find my strength to persevere. With every day that passes you make me want to find the lining, that is silver and shimmery, in the dark cloud that looms high above. To this day, no matter what, you are the reason I break my heart in pieces to know that my love is true, no matter how cold and twisted or kind and gentle, I have found love in you. With passing winds, the leaves turn orange, and with it the sunsets grow longer. As days go by, the night grows deeper, more meaningful that the last, with it the skies move past me, with the stars that shimmer luck. Though our love may be disheveled at first, in this cocoon I’ve found my home at last. As birds pass us by, flying at the pace that’s dear, with it will our hearts grow fonder, in hasty warmth and tears forth, may the call of flowing waterfalls brings us closer, in the Niagara that flows down clear.
Distraught, disheartened and in disbelief, her thoughts whiz around her mind, her brain unable to process them, and all she feels are fragments, bits and pieces of what her mind let through to her subconscious. She wants to tear her hair off, her heart out and feel the pain her mind was deaming her to feel. But at the same time, her heart gives way to melancholic thoughts of sadness and fear and loneliness. Her mind is beyond reasoning, inconsolable, as she lays in utter helplessness. Her body slackens wanting to relax, yet she is unable to, though it is the only thing she wants to do and she forces herself to do. She wants to badly, to stop shaking, to stop feeling like she was trodden on like a cockroach. Above all she wants to stop hurting.