Amongst the Thorns, She Fights!

Confessions

Days pass by me, as I wonder my purpose in life, the cause for deeds done and the reasons why I have been alive. Almost scrupulous, near promiscuous, this is wrong I tell myself. I know it is, but where do I stop myself from being thus? When will the past remind me where I must draw the line? Sadly and slowly, I succumb to the emptiness that my heart has come to be. I alone will struggle through the depths of forgiveness, in myself I must find, the deeds of wrong and those of right that have passed with minutes passing. Even with forgiveness unto myself, my mind will not allow me desired sleep tonight.

I trudge along a path of no absolution, a desire that runs deep within. Carnal pleasures resound, these walls mimic its stories, but with depression it has bound me slave to cynicism and narcissism both. Shameful and with due penance by the Lord, I live in fear of judgment at the gates. I loathe the sinner rooted within me with purpose, dragging me to the evils that I possess.  Letting the good die, writhing in pain and never in light. Darkness arrives, with determination and deceit. Power fills the senses, leaving the mind marred and broken in tears. The liar lies laden with gold, reaping triumphant jubilation, but alas the truth is buried six feet below. As the last light dies from within, smirks of truths untold lie on irritated lips. Spake it aloud cried my mind, or forever lie unjust, the world spins not on lies but painful lust.

3 responses

  1. Well you really opened yourself up there. But I dont think one is that bad as one thinks. Its just that we tend to overlook our good deeds sometimes and just go into the dark moments. Well and as for your so called wrong deeds confessing them does make you acknowledge them and if you dont make such mistakes in the future I think you have learnt from them and there should be no regret as such.

    July 29, 2009 at 4:19 pm

  2. noirharlequin

    Wow, it’s very good.

    July 29, 2009 at 4:24 pm

  3. @nemesis89 – I tried to emphasize the inklings of the seven sins that each and every one of us might have undone throughout our lives. This is not my confession wholeheartedly, though I have sinned in my life. Equally I know I act upon carrying out good deeds. As yes, you are right. Acknowledgement doesn’t necessarily ensure non-repetition but maybe it brings forth lessons of trial and error. Then we can safely say, we have no regrets, as we have learnt from it all.

    @noirharlequin Thank you, so much.

    July 29, 2009 at 5:04 pm

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